cat named pig

Our basement is close to being done, and I am NOT RELAXED. I’m second-guessing all of our choices and worrying that things are all wrong, or taking too long, or both. The carpet is being installed right now, and I can hear the workers talking but can only make out a few words here and there. My anxiety and paranoia are filling in the rest. (Although, “So, what are we doing here?” is an actual sentence I heard a few minutes ago; let me just say that is less than reassuring.)

Carpet Guy: So, what are we doing here?

Other Carpet Guy: I don’t know; let’s just stick it down here somehow and get it done so we can go to lunch early. 

CG: Yeah, we could go smoke, too.

OCG: Or we could just smoke in here.

CG: [Muffled. . . .]

Me: OMG, please don’t let them be smoking in my house. They wouldn’t really smoke in the house, would they?? But people who smoke probably smoke in their own houses. And it’s cold out. Maybe I should go to the top of the stairs and listen. And start coughing.

CG: Wow, this is some cheap carpet.

OCG: Guess it doesn’t matter if we do it right. It’s probably gonna look hideous no matter what.

Me: I know, but we’re on a budget! And we still went over budget! Carpet within our original budget has the texture of synthetic Christmas trees, or Barbie hair that has been “styled” too many times!

CG: Why do you think they painted the trim that color?*

OCG: I know, that color sucks. No one chooses that color.

CG: These people obviously have no idea what they’re doing. All the more reason to throw this stuff down as fast as possible and get outta here — it’s not like they’ll even know if we do it right.

OCG: Exactly. Do you have a lighter?

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*I hate our trim color. I hate it so much I am probably going to give my kids away on Craigslist just so I can have time to repaint it myself, since I don’t think we can afford to have the painter redo it. And then I will steal my kids back and raise them happily in a beautifully-trimmed basement, because I like my kids. I just can’t get anything done, including brushing my teeth, when they are both around.