cat named pig

I’ve made much of the fact that Matt and I celebrated our anniversary this week. I love any excuse for celebrating, and to be honest, each anniversary feels like more of an accomplishment as the years rack up. (Not to say that being married is such hard work, except, well, sometimes being married is hard work. Balancing our roles as individuals, as a couple and as parents of a family takes effort, and marking another year together is a good way to celebrate that effort. Also a good excuse to order a nicer bottle of wine than we normally would.)

So this year, like every year since we got married, we celebrated our anniversary on the eighth. And this year, like every year since we got married, our nation marks a horrible anniversary three days later. September Eleventh has been so politicized and talked about that at times it’s almost possible to detach from the huge, overwhelming reality of what happened. Almost. This morning, once again, I am caught off guard when something on the radio breaks through any detachment and the emotion really hits me. This really happened. Doubled over, punched in the gut, gasping for air. How? And why? And one of the central themes of my online ramblings (not the exhausted/frustrated parent theme, but another one): how to reconcile our amazing good fortune with the horrible suffering experienced by others? How can one of the happiest times of our lives be so closely associated with such sadness?

It’s my aunt’s birthday today. She lives in Manhattan. I can’t imagine how her birthdays must feel now, compared to eight years ago.

Seven-year-olds are celebrating birthdays today, too. And today people are having babies, going to work, getting their teeth cleaned. Siena has soccer practice tonight. I have yoga this morning.

I will be going about my Thursday, doing all the things I normally do on Thursdays, plus packing for a fun weekend at our friends’ cabin. But part of me will also be doubled over in pain, gasping for air. And all of me will be acutely aware of how lucky I am that this is what I’m doing today.