cat named pig

Siena has taken to saying “what the heck” in response to just about everything. A simple “Come get your shoes on; we’re leaving for school” will be met with “WHAT the HECK?!? Get my SHOES on?!?” like it’s so outrageous she can hardly believe it.

And woe betide the person who expresses a hint of frustration with her — her father’s characteristic defensiveness (if you’ve ever criticized or teased him, you know what I’m talking about) is revealed in her immediate and angry “What the HECK — I’m just [fill in the blank]” in defense of her actions.

Sometimes, just to mix it up a little, she limits it to “WHAT the,” which is not really much of an improvement. Like how rubbing my arm instead of, say, my leg, with a cheese grater would not really be much of an improvement.

And it grates on me, this constant eruption of shock and outrage. Especially when I can tell that she’s just repeating it because she enjoys the sound of it, or maybe because she senses that it’s getting to me. It really grates. So much so that I’ve asked her several times to find something new to say, to use a different expression for a while.

Every time I’ve asked her that, compliant and helpful child that she is, she immediately switches to “What the FUNNY?!?”

And that really doesn’t sound good, especially not when said slowly. I am anxiously expecting to hear from concerned teachers and soccer coaches, not sure how I’m going to respond. If they catch me at a bad moment, I’ll probably go with a defensive-sounding “What the HECK?!? At least she’s not ACTUALLY SWEARING.”