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Kimi — Fri, 15 May 2009 18:52:09 +0000

I think you are right on, Laura. Buddy is 11 and has been to as many funerals as I have in my entire life…we have just made them a part of life for the kids. Death and dying is sad, but it is also a time to celebrate that persons life and tell stories which keeps that person alive in your memories. My 4 year old thinks when you die you go in the hearts of the people who love you…a little off, but it works for her. She came up with that on her own last year when my grandma died and it has served us well. When she asks questions we answer til she is satisfied.

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cat named pig » Blog Archive » Books for almost-five-year-olds — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 21:00:18 +0000

[...] to continue with the Laura Ingalls books and risk another heartbreaking conversation about death, or go back to princess stories where death is reassuringly cheated every time (Ha! She was just [...]

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Renee — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 02:13:20 +0000

I think your response was perfect Especially being put on the spot. Plus wouldn’t you rather talk to her about death first from a book like Laura Ingalls Wilder rather than from a real life situation? I would be more worried if she had no reaction at all to it:)

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Crystal — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 23:43:30 +0000

Hey – again, putting 2 and 2 together and must run over to Heather’s blog to say hello to a long lost friend. I think I remember her having scarlet fever and I also thought she was going to go blind, but perhaps that’s because she told me that. Who knows?!?

Ok, back to the death topic. My 5 year old nephew has been obsessed with death/killing for the last couple years. Like totally obsessed. I personally think it stems from playing video games. When he slept over recently, we used an old Smurfs sheet for his bed. He immediately found the “bad guy”, Gargamel, and asked if he was going to kill all the Smurfs. He has dreams about dying and killing.

Perhaps it is a good thing that she has a healthy understanding of death shown through the books you’re reading rather than an extreme view of death portrayed through video games and other media. Just a thought.

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Kathy — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 01:22:41 +0000

I think you are doing all the right things, but I strongly suspect your daughter will probably qualify for the “gifted” label at some point because she does have a long attention span and command of the language to be read books written for an older audience and obviously enjoy them. Have you thought much about this? I know that parenting a gifted child can certainly present challenges.

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Laura — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 01:16:26 +0000

Oh, and other Amy — I loved those books too! Was planning to wait till she was older to pull them out, but maybe I’ll just start reading things in advance to get of sense of whether she is ready. In my mind, the Little House books were these warm, loving family stories perfect for a 4-yr-old — must have forgotten all the near-death experiences or maybe my parents did some of the same “editing” as they read that I’ve been doing!

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Laura — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 01:05:36 +0000

Florie — awesome suggestion. I loved those, too.

Mom — thanks for the vote of confidence. And I don’t think you’re old at all.

Amy — glad I can offer a “grass is not always greener; grass sometimes has pee on it (as does the carpet)” type of perspective. (I am trying to be funny, but I really appreciate your comment.)

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Amy — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 01:05:09 +0000

Hey Laura – I think you and Matt are doing a great job! I also read the story in Motherlode, and thought it was really odd to hide your grandmothers china – to try to hide death. You cant hide it – and I think kids sense if you are trying to be evasive.

BTW – I loved Laura Ingalls – but I remember reading them in first grade and up. Would she be too young for Anne of green gables? I have the whole set if you need to borrow one. (dont we share that same obsession?)

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Amy — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 20:53:59 +0000

This is a belated comment – in response to your post about Elliott’s second birthday – and the most recent podcast. I meant to tell you that I really appreciate your honesty about parenthood – esp. since I am not a parent yet. It helps me keep perspective about the whole thing – and not wonder off into “if only…” thoughts. It’s good to recognize there are good and bad parts to parenthood and non-parenthood (I can’t think of a good word for that). It’s good to keep a balanced view.

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Laura's Mom — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 16:08:55 +0000

As a VERY old person , I’d just like to throw my 2 cents’ worth in–it doesn’t always seem to matter what parents do, kids often pick up on the idea of death around Siena’s age. Naturally, it causes a lot of anxiety. One preschooler I knew once had to come home from a friend’s house because he was so upset. The friend’s dad had offered him milk with his lunch and told him it would “help him grow up big and strong”–which, we learned later, a 4-year-old’s logic somehow translated into “and then you’ll die.” From my own experience, the thing I found most comforting was to see my parents deal with the hard issues of life courageously–so I think it’s definitely a case where acknowledging feelings and modeling acceptance and a positive outlook really do build a child’s coping skills. I think you’re doing a great job!