cat named pig

Dear Four-Year-Old,

A few weeks ago, when I was at Target out doing something really important, I received a text message that said “Mama.”

When I got home I told Matt I liked the message. He looked at me blankly.

“I didn’t send you a text message.”

“Yeah, you did. With Siena? It said Mama.“

[Blank stare] “No, we didn’t send anything. She must have done it while I was putting Elliot to bed.”

That’s right, Four-Year-Old — you unlocked your dad’s cell phone, typed a text message and then typed my phone number (which you have memorized) and hit “send.”

But that’s not all. The other day I opened the camera feature on my iPhone. . . and was surprised to see several new pictures that I had not taken. Upon closer inspection, they turned out to be pictures of the cat, a grinning Elliot, and a close-up of sparkly nail polish on four-year-old toes. Hmmm.

Not only have I never shown you how to take pictures with my phone, I have actually threatened you, your father and your brother with severe bodily harm if anyone messes with my iPhone. So to say I was surprised to see those images would be an understatement.

What these stories demonstrate, Four-Year-Old, is that you have a remarkable ability to master new technology, to figure out complex gadgets that most adults need pages of instructions to operate.

Why, then, is it so hard to remember to flush the toilet consistently?

Sincerely,

Mama