Cat for sale
December 18th, 2009
We have the dubious distinction of owning the dumbest cat ever to breathe air. [Warning: this post NSFL (Not Safe For Lunch) -- if you're eating while you read, you might want to come back later.]
Here’s what I DON’T want to deal with before 7:00 a.m., ever again:
Pig scarfs down her breakfast, then heads to the dining table to chow on whatever the kids have left in their cereal bowls, then immediately barfs it all back up. Onto the table runner on our dining table, because OF COURSE.
But she doesn’t stop there. She promptly begins eating the regurgitated mess as fast as she can, because, again, OF COURSE. Who wouldn’t want to eat their own vomit? Never mind that it obviously didn’t work out so well the first time around — why not try again? You wouldn’t want to let that meal go to waste.
But here’s the best part: in her haste (excitement? Pig: “Sweet! More food!”) to re-eat her cat chow and stolen Kashi, she also eats a hole into the table runner. A baseball-sized hole. HOW DO YOU INGEST THAT MUCH FABRIC WITHOUT NOTICING? Or did she notice and just not care, because “Hey! Sweet! More food!”
Yeah. Not even for sale. You can totally just have her. For free.
December 18th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
A good and entertaining story: and another reason we don’t own cats.
But FYI, humans are one of the sole species exceptions that *doesn’t* eat their own vomit if they regurgitate. It’s likely because calories can’t be taken for granted in non-domestic environments, so the animals conserve wherever possible: including whistled beef.
And I’m not defending Pig…but he’s not alone.
December 22nd, 2009 at 12:05 pm
well I hate cats so I cant help you there….but “barf stories” no longer phase me…even during the lunch hour. Maybe thats what happens after you’re a mom?
January 5th, 2010 at 9:43 am
So, I’m kinda sad that this had to be your last post in forever. And I’m sad that I didn’t get one of those christmas cards. Oh well.
January 5th, 2010 at 2:28 pm
I know! I’m kind of ashamed of myself that I let two weeks go by with a barf story at the top here. Not like there was a holiday or anything more interesting to talk about since that happened. . . .
New post in the works. Check back soon. And the cat is still for sale. Name your price.